November 21, 2007
TRUST 22
When you fall in love with someone intimacy and trust are important issues. But securing the relationship has to do mainly with your `bonds of communication'.The more ways you relate to one another the more you communicate and bond with one another.
Keep in mind that a love relationship is a `three-way street': Giving, receiving and intimacy. Through Self Love you tap the source to give love. Through Self Love one knows how to receive love from others. If you are lousy at giving and receiving love, it's almost impossible to reach INTIMACY.
WHAT IS INTIMACY? - Common thought is that intimacy is to engage in sex with another or self. When really Intimacy is the level of intensity of the partners' BONDS OF COMMUNICATION. Sex is only a part of this communication. Through taking responsibility for one's actions and trust, we increase the intensity of those Bonds Of Communication.
WHAT ARE BONDS OF COMMUNICATION? - They're the variety of ways we relate to each other: verbal, sexual, touch, food, listening, smell, taste, music, art, caring, sharing, chores, personal culture, being considerate, respectful behavior, creativity, enjoyment of each others Passions, cleanliness, etc. All are venues of communication. The more ways we communicate the better the relationship; the better the relationship, the deeper the INTIMACY; the deeper the intimacy, the better the love making. This to me is how you maintain a high level of Passion in the relationship no matter how long you've been together.
For example: A woman with little self love doesn't trust her significant other when they leave the house. If the partner is 15 minutes late coming home, or speaks with someone else or can't be reached immediately, she feels she has grounds not to trust the partner. No matter what the partner does, it doesn't satisfy her belief that the partner is cheating and doesn't love her. Her lack of self love stems from her beliefs that another person can not love her or will always betray her. Fear of not having what she wants then leads to insecure behavior. Even having the partner pass a lie detector test would not quell this woman's insecurity. The doubts are with self and not the partner. The beliefs say the only way to insure this person will not betray me is to control their behavior and environment; when the problem is REALLY with her. Whereas, if she knew and loved herself, she would understand TRUST isn't what you put in others, but what you put in yourself and your inner Spirit. Meaning, whatever happens in life, I will overcome it - even betrayal. Arguments that cannot be resolved and a break down in the Bonds of Communication lead to less intimacy. No nook nook!
HOW DO I BUILD TRUST? - As I've stated, Trust is a state of non-concern. It's a security that no matter what happens, everything will work out all right. Trust is built through self exploration and self knowledge not in changing the behavior of others. A person that betrays you is one that makes you concerned with their behavior or doings and not imagined behavior. They've been indiscrete. `Discretion is the greater part of valor' addresses this idea to a tee.
WHAT IS DISCRETION? - It's a form of respect. When a person is discrete you have no knowledge of they're actions, good or bad when they're not around. In other words, `Ignorance is bliss'. What they share with you about their life when you are not around is accepted at face value. Why? Because you trust in yourself and inner Spirit and are aware that you're responsible for how you respond to life, not the object of your affection. When you have Self Love you have Self Control.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT BETRAYAL AND INFIDELITY ARE PAINLESS? - Absolutely not! But it does symbolize a crossroads in your relationship. Hurt feelings are not YOU, and definitely aren't permanent. Those feelings signal problems in the relationship. Calling for communication in what is and isn't acceptable between them.
HOW DO YOU RECOVER FROM THIS? - As mentioned previously, lay down as you're about to sleep, relax your mind and ask for the pain you feel to be released; ask for the proper path to take and the ability to recognize it. Even if you don't remember your dreams this will work for you. Patience and observation is a key to this working. This will bring relief and healing as you find proper expression for those hurt feelings.
HOW DO I BUILD TRUST ONCE IT'S BEEN BROKEN? - You don't! First, once you know the betrayal to be true, you must decide whether you are willing to accept this continued behavior and the pain it brings. If not, guidelines need to be agreed upon to prevent similar behavior in the future. The individual with Self Love knows that the next time this occurs, the decision making goes from two to one - that's YOU! The axioms `Once bitten, twice shy' and `Once you hurt me, shame on you. Twice you hurt me, shame on me', puts the responsibility for your life on you; where it belongs, and not on your lover.
Also, when you've decided to give the betrayor another chance, the person with Self Love will trust again completely, because when we love we allow the other person to be themself. There is no need to build trust - you can't. You either have it or you don't. Otherwise, you have something other than a relationship with `real love'. Knowing where someone is every moment and checking up on them isn't trust; it's obsessive behavior that many people think is normal. It isn't healthy, that's for sure. If betrayal is a part of the mate's character it will come to the fore again without you spying or checking up on your lover. It's up to you to take action at that time.
November 15, 2007
1000 friends
PX was my 1000th friendship...
and today marks the 8759th day on earth
lucky number 22-7
November 13, 2007
things to do
Hope in the goodness of mankind: Without such hope people can become emotionally stuck, reclusive, and isolated. Hope in goodness is a change based on the willingness to take a risk that all people are not evil, bad, or ill-willed.
Faith in the fairness of life: This faith in fairness is similar to the ``boomerang belief,'' that what you throw out to others will come back to you eventually in life. So if people are fair, honest, or nurturing they will eventually receive similar behavior aimed back at them. Having faith in fairness is an attitude that helps people be open to others and risk being vulnerable. They believe that the person who treats them negatively will eventually ``get it in the end!'' and be punished in someway later in this life or in the next.
Belief in a power greater than yourself: This is the acceptance of a spiritual power with greater strength, wisdom, and knowledge than you; one with a divine plan to include your experience, whatever you will encounter in life. Rather than believing that you are 100% in control of your destiny, belief in this spiritual power enables you to let go of over responsibility, guilt, and anger. This lets you accept God's will in your life and enables you to let go of your distrust and isolation from others. If God is in control of the universe, you can lighten your load and let God do some of the leading in your life. `"Let go and let God,'' can be your motto.
A healing environment: This is the creating of a trust bond with the significant others in your personal life where blaming, accusing, and acrimony do not exist. In the healing mode the participants actively use forgiveness, understanding, and healthy communication to resolve problems and issues. The participants are then willing to forget, to let go, and to release themselves of the past hurts, wounds, and pain, opening themselves to trust one another.
Reduction of a sense of competition: This reducing of competition, jealousy, and defensiveness with significant others in your life is a way to reduce the barriers between you and them. The lowering of these psychological barriers is essential to the movement toward development of mutual trust.
Self-disclosure of negative self-scripts: Your disclosing of your inability to feel good about yourself and your perceived lack of healthy self-esteem are essential in reducing miscommunication or misunderstanding between you and the significant others in your life. This self-disclosure reveals to the others your perspective on obstacles you believe you bring to relationships. This sheds the mask of self-defensiveness and allows the other to know you as you know yourself. It is easier to trust that which is real than that which is unreal or hidden.
Taking a risk to be open to others: This enables you to become a real person to others. It is an essential behavior in trust-building between two people because it is the establishing of the parameters of strengths and weaknesses on which you have to draw as the relationship develops.
Becoming vulnerable: This enables you to be hurt by others who know your weaknesses and strengths. This is an essential step in trust-building between people. It lays the cards on the table in a gamble that in such total self-revelation the others will accept you for who you really are rather than for who they want you to be. In order to get to full self-disclosure you must take the risk to be vulnerable to others. This is an important building block in trust development.
Letting go of fear: Fear restricts your actions with others. Letting go frees you of behavioral constraints that can immobilize your emotional development. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of caring, fear of success, fear of being hurt, fear of the unknown, and fear of intimacy are blocks to the development of trust relationships and can impede relationship growth if not given appropriate attention and remedial action.
Self-acceptance: Accepting who you are and what your potential is an important step in letting down your guard enough to develop a trusting relationship with others. If you are so insecure in your identity that you are unable to accept yourself first, how can you achieve the self-revelation necessary to develop trust? Self-acceptance through an active program of self-affirmation and self-love is a key to the development of trust.
so-called beliefs... reality baby... dnt base ur life on sayings.. so do so so...
I have been hurt too much in the past, and I refuse to be hurt again now or in the future!
People are out to get all they can from you, so avoid them to survive!
As soon as you let your guard down, you will be stepped on again!
No one is to be trusted!
You always get hurt by the ones you love!
I get no respect from anyone!
All men (or women) are dishonest and are never to be trusted!
Everyone is out to get me!
I am never successful in picking partners, so why try again!
As soon as you care and open up to someone, they will always leave you!
Marriage is the pits!
There is no such thing as a healthy relationship!
You can never let your guard down because all hell will break loose!
All reformations are short-lived!
If I give in and believe you have truly changed, relaxing my defenses, I am most certainly going to be hurt again once you backslide!
There is no such thing as change in behavior. It is only manipulation by others to get their way with you!
Everyone is out to get as much as they can out of you!
There is no such thing as a fair employer, generous company, or supportive work place!
It is better to live alone for the rest of my life than to risk being hurt as I was!
I will never let you know my true feelings again since, if I do open up, I'm afraid you will use them against me to hurt me!
the dillema
Experienced a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse and/or neglect.
Been chronically put down for the way they feel or for what they believe.
Been emotionally hurt in the past and are not willing to risk getting hurt in the future.
Had problem relationships in the past where they were belittled, misunderstood, or ignored.
Experienced the loss of a loved one through death. They can get so caught up in unresolved grief that they are unable to open themselves up to others, fearing they will be left alone again due to death, or, abandonment.
Experienced a hostile or bitter divorce, separation, or end of a relationship. They may be unable to believe anyone who opens up to them in a new, committed relationship.
Been reared in or have lived in an environment emotionally and/or physically unpredictable and volatile.
Experienced a great deal of pain at the hands of another. Even if the other finally recognizes and accepts the responsibility to change such behavior, the person fears that if they let their guard down, the pain and hurt will begin again.
Low self-esteem and cannot believe that they are deserving of the attention, care, and concern of anyone. They have problems even trusting the positive, healthy, and reinforcing behavior of another who is sincere.
Experienced a great deal of non-provoked victimization in their lives. They are unwilling to trust people, situations, or institutions for fear of being victimized again.
TRUST is
Letting others know your feelings, emotions and reactions, and having the confidence in them to respect you and to not take advantage of you.
Sharing your inner feelings and thoughts with others with the belief that they will not spread them indiscriminately.
Placing confidence in others so that they will be supportive and reinforcing of you, even if you let down your "strong'' mask and show your weaknesses.
Assuming that others will not intentionally hurt or abuse you if you should make an error or a mistake.
The inner sense of acceptance you have of others with whom you are able to share secrets, knowing they are safe.
The sense that things are fine; that nothing can disrupt the bond between you and the other.
The ability to let others into your life so that you and they can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect, caring, and concern to assist one another in growing and maturing independently.
The glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fulfill yourself.
Opening yourself up to let others in on your background, problems, concerns, and mistakes with the assurance that they will not ostracize you because of these things.
The act of placing yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, open, and honest way.
Love, Lovers, Loving and all that jazz...
| Present Situation Where things are currently sitting.  | Four of Cups Briefly: An offer should be considered. In Detail... The picture on this card shows a hand holding a cup and this is reaching out from a cloud and presenting the cup to a person who is surrounded by leaves and there is a hill in the background and many trees. There are three cups full of liquid in the foreground. This can represent an offer to be considered. Sometimes it can symbolise that the person is reluctant to accept any offers. However, the wise person should at least investigate what is being presented, rather than dismissing it without knowing all the facts. Something can arise out of the blue and be a surprise. If you happen to notice that your circumstances may alter quite significantly if you take up some new direction, then proceed with assurance that this is the right path for you at this point in time | |
| Your World - Your Focus What surrounds you currently, how others view you, where you are both mentally and spiritually.  | Wheel of Fortune Briefly: This card is a delight to arrive in your reading. Not only can it bring about an unusual turn of events that are quite fortunate for you. In Detail... This card is a delight to arrive in your reading. Not only can it bring about an unusual turn of events that are quite fortunate for you, but that you are finally taking the lead in the direction of your own life and your ultimate destiny. This card suggests not so much that events happen to you, but rather that you instigate many major changes to bring about a new life with new challenges and renewed hope. You may decide to leave a job, leave a partner, or go overseas and the decisions you make with regards to these will be so swift that you will shatter some people's impressions that you were once a stable and slow mover. Now all things must change, and change swiftly. If you should happen to win the lottery or some other good fortune befalls you, make sure you know exactly what you want to do with your new-found freedom, independence and wealth. The bolt out of the blue is likely to happen just when you thought you were in a rut and didn't anticipate anything was going to alter. Opportunities can arise thick and fast and leave you gasping for air between this offer and that. Don't allow anyone to push you into anything you are unsure of. | |
| Your Lovers World - Their Focus What surrounds your Lover currently, how others view them, where they are both mentally and spiritually.  | Ace of Cups Briefly: There is some abundance coming into the life of the person who draws this card. Whatever is wished for will be granted In Detail... The picture on this card shows a large cup being held in a hand and in the cup the contents are flowing over the side and in the background is a large white done. There is a watery background and some flowers and greenery. This symbolises that there is some abundance coming into the life of the person who draws this card. Whatever is wished for will be granted. Either a new love, a new location or other significant new start is possible and will occur within a relatively short span of time. If the health has not been so good, then this will be improved radically. If you have your sights set on some specific accomplishment, it is likely to be achieved. Take a leap of faith and trust in the future. | |
| Nature of your Issues together Either past influences or current what surrounds you both.  | King of Pentacles Briefly: A man whose aim is to appear wealthy, which is his ultimate goal. In Detail... On this card we see a man seated on a throne. He looks regal and sophisticated. He holds a scepter in his left hand and a Pentacle in his right hand. This man is very serious about financial security and has made the accumulation of funds his main preoccupation in life. He is very proud of his achievements and willing to show others his prized possessions. At this time in his life he is probably aged around late thirties to early forties. His work may involve him in the field of banking or the stock-market. The main aim of his life is to be financially secure and then he can relax in his later years in luxury and comfort. Appearances are important to him and to this end he dresses very conservatively and smartly. Comfort is also a factor in his well made and expensive attire. The aim is to appear wealthy, which is his ultimate goal. Usually he rides the wave of success in mid life and is therefore able to display an air of authority and confidence in his position. Others respect him for his determination and passion to succeed. He has mastered his life successfully and is usually married with a few children. His wife is conscious of his material desires and needs and accepts her role as the caretaker of all he owns. | |
| Obstacles to overcome Areas that need to be illuminated, places that need to be worked through.  | Judgement Briefly: It can be a new life created out of the wisdom of the lessons you have learned from your past and even from the mistakes you have made. If there is someone in your life whom you would like to reunite with, now is the time to approach them and rekindle lost friendship, or long lost love. In Detail... This card shows a man, woman and child in a boat going over the ocean. The man is holding a bugle and he appears confident and strong. If you are a single man and you draw this card, it is symbolic of your forthcoming marriage and the birth of your child. If you are single woman, it can symbolise the new man who is going to come into your life and he is fertile and will become the father of your child, possibly your very first child. This card can also symbolise a time of deep reflection on your life, the mistakes you have made and how you are at the point of trying to understand what all this means and rectify whatever you can. It can be a new life created out of the wisdom of the lessons you have learned from your past and even from the mistakes you have made. If there is someone in your life whom you would like to reunite with, now is the time to approach them and rekindle lost friendship, or long lost love. Travel can be undertaken at this time and it will radically change your whole life. | |
| Lessons & Signs to watch for The Divine Universal watch tower! Signs to signal their impending arrival, areas that need illuminating... only you will know that which needs to be seen.  | Ace of Pentacles Briefly: You will be surprised to learn that one of your greatest financial wishes is about to come true. In Detail... This card shows a large pentacle in the middle which is symbolic of material wealth and abundance. If you should receive this card in your layout, and it is representative of a future event, then you will be surprised to learn that one of your greatest financial wishes is about to come true. This can bring financial stability to those who have never had it before in their life. | |
| Your Hopes, Fears, Desires What is it that your soul really wants and needs.  | Ten of Swords Briefly: A time to recuperate after an operation or period of sickness. In Detail... At first sight this card looks just awful. There is a picture of a person laying face down in the snow with ten swords stuck in his/her back with blood oozing out everywhere. This can give a very distressing impression to your client when seeing this card in their layout. However, generally the card is not as depressing as originally seemed. It can just be a time to recuperate after an operation, which could have involved the back or neck. This person may also be needing some bed rest from exhaustion or is possibly temporarily depressed due to a current situation. Time does heal all wounds. There are stars twinkling in the dark night sky in the background, giving hope and inspiration that dawn will eventually, and always does, arrive. Daylight is only hours away, if only we do not lose sight of that timely event. The person does recover, does carry on and move into the light of day with renewed vigour and enthusiasm. It just sometimes takes a little time and possibly some tender loving care. The month of October may be particularly significant in relation to some event connected to the picture on this card. All is not lost though, as the month comes and goes just like every other month and by November all is generally well again and life is back on track. | |
| Your Lovers Hopes, Fears, Desires What is it that your lovers soul really thirsts for?  | The World Briefly: Travel is often associated with this card, new found freedom is just around the corner. You may also expect that your situation will improve quite dramatically in the near future and you are able to explore life with more energy and enthusiasm. In Detail... The World. This card shows a woman standing in the centre of the card and all she is wearing is a piece of cloth draped around her body leaving her breasts bare. She is apparently dancing and has a wand of some type in each hand. She has long brown hair and is carefree and open about herself and her motives. There is a wreath of leaves and ribbon surrounding her and behind this is the bull, lion, eagle and the head of a male figure. These represent the four fixed signs of the zodiac which are Taurus, Leo, Scorpio and Aquarius. These signs may very well be symbolic of someone in your life already who is having a huge influence on you, or it can represent someone coming into your life who is born under one of these signs of the zodiac. Travel is often associated with this card, as it can mean travelling the world and meeting many people on your journey. It is also a card of freedom which is indicated by the woman being almost naked. If you wish to be free of some limiting circumstance and then you draw this card, chances are you new found freedom is just around the corner. You may also expect that your situation will improve quite dramatically in the near future and you are able to explore life with more energy and enthusiasm. Circumstance can alter so quickly that you basically blink and then discover you have a new life opening up to you. | |
| What Challenges your Relationship Areas that require awareness and attention.  | Six of Swords Briefly: This is a card of travel and usually means going over water, though can mean an ocean voyage specifically. In Detail... Aren't you lucky if you draw this card? You may be about to take off to further horizons and go exploring. This is a card of travel and usually means going over water, though can mean an ocean voyage specifically. You are usually not going alone, there is someone else with you. It is also a card showing that you are protected in some way or someone is looking after you and your needs at this time. It is time to relax and enjoy yourself and take time out to explore other parts of this wonderful world we live in. It is quite an adventurous card and shows that you are ready for new experiences and will welcome whatever changes arise. Your longing for distant shores also means that your life may have been becoming a little stagnant of late, and you need fresh air and a change of scenery. Go some place you have never been before and allow yourself to flow with the winds of change. | |
| The Final Outcome The Final Card, the outcome of it all, the future of your relationship.  | Ace of Wands Briefly: Perhaps a move interstate or overseas. Life is about to flourish and grow in more ways than you can imagine. In Detail... This a beautiful card to just look at. On it is a hand reaching out from the sky holding a branch that is sprouting green leaves. This is very symbolic of a new life. You may be about to uproot yourself and move to a totally different location. You could even move interstate or overseas. Life is about to flourish and grow in more ways than you can imagine. There could very well be mountains nearby in the place you are planning on moving to. The sky is blue and the world is your oyster. Now is the most favourable time to consider what possibilities lay ahead. A business venture may be undertaken now that builds a solid and secure future for you and your family. Take the initiative and move into new territory, for the old has little to offer, whereas the new is fresh and inspiring to you. If there is a proposition is put to you in the near future it would be potentially prosperous and the likelihood of producing all the things your life needs. |
3 cards .... i should let go....
Situation as it is | |
King of Pentacles | Briefly: A man whose aim is to appear wealthy, which is his ultimate goal. In Detail: |
Course of action to be taken | |
The Fool | Briefly: Journey of unique and unknown destination. Innocent of life and will have to learn by his own mistakes. He is a wanderer, with great enthusiasm for life and for love. In Detail: |
New situation that will evolve | |
Judgement | Briefly: It can be a new life created out of the wisdom of the lessons you have learned from your past and even from the mistakes you have made. If there is someone in your life whom you would like to reunite with, now is the time to approach them and rekindle lost friendship, or long lost love. In Detail: |
November 08, 2007
the M word
| Nature of your Issues together Either past influences or current what surrounds you both.  | The Hierophant Briefly: A man of wisdom and vast experience of life. A guiding light in the dark, a kind and inspiring man you can call on for guidance and advice. In Detail... This major arcana card is one of a little mystery. The man pictured looks like he knows all the answers. He is clothed in regal attire suggestive of a link with royalty. He looks too like a religious man, perhaps a preist, and the sceptre in his hand is a symbol of mastery and possibly also magic. He apppears to be an elderly man, a man of wisdom and vast experience of life. He seems like a guiding light in the dark. If this card represents you, then you are quite likely at the stage in your life where everything is under control. You have walked the rocky road of life and have mastered the techniques to reach a time of achievement and satisfaction. You may have reached all your previous goals and can now sit back and perhaps rest on your laurels if that is what you choose to do. It is a time of equilibrium, balance and serenity. The troubles of the world are behind you, and now you can take the time out to rest without too many challenges ahead. If this card represents someone in your life, you obviously look up to this person with great respect. He may have been, and still is, you best friend, your mentor, your confidante. He is a kind and inspiring man and you may have called on him for guidance and advice, which he gave with compassion and willingness. He may even be a spiritual guru who showed you the way when it was dark or in your hour of greatest need. He would have aided you in finding your path in life or gave hints of the mysteries that can often be hidden even from those who search for the meaning of life so compellingly. He is the keeper of the knowledge of life and will share it with those who seek it. He is the eternal philosopher and seeker of truth. The keys can often be symbolic of new keys coming into your life, such as new house keys or car keys. It can also show you to be aware of where you leave your keys as you may find that you accidently misplace them, which can prove to be very inconvenient. As keys can represent a new direction you are about to take in life, this may suggest that the time is ripe to make significant life changes right now or in the very near future. This card can also represent marriage. |
November 07, 2007
OMG is this for real November 3rd Reading....
All 14 Cards have been Selected
Share your reading with a friend! See how at the bottom of the page
Read through them like your reading a story,
remember that the card before and after each one influences the
meaning of that card...
 | A Marriage Bed A marriage bed is traditionally shared by male and female, if it's right - it's right. Love honestly knows no bounds, no limitations, no tradition. Love is unconditional - there are no rules or guidelines - if you LOVE someone and they LOVE you, then it's right - unconditionally. | ||
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| A Good Heart An honest heart is good, sincere and open, ready to accept and give love unconditionally. They have your best interest at heart. |  | ||
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 | Your Home Your abode; your place of residence "home is where the heart is" and your home is rich with love, and love above all is most sacred and most desired. | ||
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| A Fair Elderly Man An elderly male either fair skinned or fair haired; either in body or soul. |  | ||
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 | Someone in Love with You An admirer in the midst, someone's been smiling at you, knowing that your heart is good, knowing that you're special. Open your heart to receive this love and if it's honest and noble, it will be very, very blessed. | ||
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| New Clothes for a Special Occasion This is a special, special occasion, the right clothes are needed though, first impressions last - those new clothes will make all the difference (re-working some older clothes will work just as well!) It will be how you wear them too, head up, straight and proud, cherish these times. |  | ||
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 | Honor or Respect Your leadership skills are being recognised. Accolade after accolade, stand up and accept these gifts proudly, give and receive the honor. Salute! | ||
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| A Drink Celebration or commiseration; a time to enrich your life through positive steps. Liquid replenishes the mind, feeds the body and uplifts the soul. |  | ||
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 | A False Friend Do you deal with perception or reality? Sometimes our hearts and our minds see two very different signs. Honesty, integrity, intuition and faith will get you through. Be true to yourself and follow your intuition, ensure you know the truth. | ||
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| A very Dark Elderly Man An elderly male either very dark skinned or dark haired; either in body or soul. |  | ||
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 | A Child Children are always… someone’s child. Daughter, Son, Niece, Nephew, Godchild, Grandchild or even you. Now more so than ever reach out, find that child, and nurture, care and forgive unconditionally. This is not a give and take situation it is ALL GIVE - unconditionally. Give; that they may grow. | ||
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| A very Dark Young Man A young male either very dark skinned or dark haired; either in body or soul. |  | ||
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 | A Settlement An agreement will be reached, a settlement of the minds. All involved will be happy to reach this decision. | ||
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| A Wedding Someone is getting married? Is it you? Share in this special time, bear witness to the love, help and nurture this sacred time. Be there unconditionally. |  | ||
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